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FANBOY RANT: Dissecting the DC mini-boot



So, by now you've had a chance to fully digest the DC mini-boot coming this June. But that's not enough. Duke, I hear you asking, what do you think about the 24 new titles DC Comics is set to launch?  It's well you should ask because, being the consummate 47-year-old fanboy, I am possessed of an innate ability to judge, based on virtually no information whatsoever, which books will rock, and which will suck beyond all belief! What can I say, I'm a mutant. It's my lucky-special power.

Okay, so maybe I'm not quite that guy, but even if I'm not THE Comic Book Guy, I am a comic book guy, and I can tell you already which new titles I expect will make it onto my own personal pull list, and which ones I'm more likely than not to skip.

I'll share those assessments below, but the first thing to note is this statement form DC Comics Co-Publisher Dan Didio, given in a press release announcing the sort-of-but-not-really relaunch:
“In this new era of storytelling, story will trump continuity as we continue to empower creators to tell the best stories in the industry." 
That, in my ever so humble, is about the wisest thing Didio has ever said. Some have called this the "Batgirling" of the DC line, based on the recently launched new direction of the Batgirl title, as it went off-model, so to speak, and its creative team was allowed to pursue a look and direction that did not necessarily match the rest of the DCU. But really, it's a return to form to how comics were made when they cared more for the casual reader than the inveterate fanboy.

Longtime DC Comics editor Julius Schwartz once made a fairly famous reply to a fan about continuity. I haven't been able to find it online, but the gist of it goes like this: The fan wrote in to complain that men from Saturn where depicted differently in two different stories in, I think, Strange Adventures. Schwartz' reply was that DC was more concerned with telling good stories, which meant making sure a story was internally consistent, and less with ensuring that it lined up with every other story the company ever published. Sound editorial reasoning. Of course, this was said in the days before shared universes and decompressed story lines that last six months or more, when seemingly every story revolves around some worldwide cataclysm. Those kinds of things tend to invite readers to wonder what's going on in one title while events unfold in another. So, we'll just have to wait and see how long this new policy lasts. 

I mean, I'm no slave to continuity, but neither do I want all DCU stories to take place on Earth-B (look it up). I mean, I may like to see Batgirl teaming up with other members of the Batman Family from time to time, but what I want for her, and in the books below, is for each to have its own voice. 

Anyway, here are my thoughts on the "re-launch" titles:


BATMAN BEYOND
Writer: Dan Jurgens; Artists: Bernard Chang

I've never even seen the animated show that's the basis for this comic, so, fair to say, I've little built-in interest for this title. I'm almost certain to skip it.


BAT-MITE 
Six-issue limited series
Writer: Dan Jurgens; Artist: Corin Howell

It's been said that, at least in part,  the DC mini-relaunch involves a conscious decision to make comics fun again. The artist's model sheet for this series looks to do just that. My trepidation is that Jurgens is not known, by me at least, as a comedic writer. So, how much of a hoot this will be remains to be seen. That said, apart from the recent Aquaman and The Others series, Jurgens has always been a safe bet for my comics-buying dollar. At six issues, I'm sure to be all in for this.



BLACK CANARY
Writer: Brenden Fletcher; Artists: Annie Wu & Irene Koh

Yeah, I dunno. Fletcher wins points for his Batgirl makeover. But what's up with Black Canary here? I must have lost track of the character at some point, because I'm only passingly familiar with the fact that she's now an emo punk songstress, but I don't really know how or when she got that way. At any rate, this looks like a book that might be more compelling to female readers. And that's a good thing. I just don't think it's going to be for me.


BIZARRO
Six-issue limited series
Writer: Heath Corson; Artist: Gustavo Duarte

I'm not familiar with either creator, so I'm not sure what to expect. Bizarro is a concept that can be taken in so many directions. I still remember being not much impressed by the A. Bizarro series. The drawing included with the press release looks like a fun take on the me-am-do-opposite motif. It's unclear if this Bizarro is the New 52 Luther-built Frankenzarro, or not. He certainly looks more like that than the classic chalk-faced Bizarro No. 1. However, he may well be set in his own completely distinct, kid-friendly continuity, like the old Johnny DC line, only less lobotomized. Frankly, based on the PR drawing alone, this may be the series I am looking forward to the most. That means it's probably also going to be the one that disappoints me the most. We'll see. 



CONSTANTINE: THE HELLBLAZER
Writer: Ming Doyle; Artist: Riley Rossmo

Yeah, I've just never been on board with Constantine. I might be, if he was written more like Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge with a magic wand – you know, the rascally English scamp who's always working a get-rich quick scheme while simultaneously calculating how to pay you on Tuesday for a hamburger today. But Constantine is not that. Constantine is a dick. And I don't want to read about an asshole. I like my escapist fantasy to be all about heroes and adventures and grand operatic themes. I don't mind a bit of the anti-hero, but Constantine is often more closely akin to an anti-villain. Pass.



CYBORG
Writer: David Walker; Artist: Ivan Reis

It's hard to know what to expect here. Cyborg has been, for me, one of the hardest things to accept about the New 52. I get that the Justice League needed a minority member, but Cyborg was, and in my mind forever will be, an integral cog in the New Teen Titans. I would have preferred if DC had made Black Lightning or someone else a founding League member, or else created a new black character to fill the role. Hell, they could have easily made John Jones a black guy. Still could, for what that's worth. But shoehorning in Vic, I dunno man — that just undoes so much, its hard for me to see the value in it. Plus, whenever I see Cyborg now, I seem to hear TPTB at DC saying, "Yeah, ya know, we just didn't have a lot of black characters to work with. After all, that is why he was made a member of the Super Friends, you'll recall."

So, I'll probably at least try the first couple of issues, but I'm not expecting much. I imagine what we'll get right off the bat is a supporting cast shoved at us, as well as a new home base. Trying to create a world for Vic to inhabit will take up a lot of panel space that should go into telling a story, and establishing a good villain. After all, the villain is how we define our heroes, isn't it? Cyborg's arch-nemesis should probably be someone based in social media somehow. Thats' what I'd do, anyway.


DARK UNIVERSE
Writer: James Tynion IV; Artist: Ming Doyle

Nope. I don't even know what this is, apart from a recent Dan Didio interview in which he said it has something to do with the "mystic side" of the DC Universe. All I need to now is the writer. I left Talon almost entirely because of Tynion. I'll have to see a lot of really good reviews on this title before I plop down my hard-earned.


GREEN LANTERN: LOST ARMY
Writer: Cullen Bunn; Artists: Jesus Saiz & Javi Pina

I'm kind of super-saturated on Green Lanterns at the moment. It would take a pretty big name to draw my interest, to tell the truth. Plus, something about the title screams "high concept" to me, meaning something that would probably make for an interesting limited arc, but which will undoubtedly will lose its power when drawn out over a continuing series. Pass.


DOOMED
Writer: Scott Lobdell; Artist: Javier Fernandez

When I saw the teaser image for this, I wondered if the character was a new version of Robotman, and if this might be a new take on the Doom Patrol. A new take is just what the DP needs, given the failure of the last 12 attempts to revive the team. I have a take of my own I'll unveil at some point. But, as it turns out, this is some sort of tie-in to the recent "Superman: Doomed" storyline, which I didn't read, and that significantly mitigates my interest. Plus, while I don't dislike Lobdell my any means, his has never been a name that immediately draws me to a book on its own merit.


EARTH 2: SOCIETY
Writer: Daniel Wilson; Artist: Jorge Jimenez

I didn't think much of Earth 2 from the start. It got a little better under Tom Taylor, but it continues to suffer a bitter aftertaste from James Robinson's set-up and initial run on the series. To my mind, it read more like a professional fanfic than anything else, as if it were the comic book equivalent of Bryan Singer's Superman Returns. Of course, I fully admit, some of that feeling stems from my own fanboy biases. To me, if you're going to call a book Earth-2, it should feature the real and actual Earth-2, picking up the threads from Infinity Inc., or better yet, the All-Star Comics/Adventure Comics run. 

This is not that, though. And so, I'll probably skim the first issue on the stand, but it's highly unlikely I'll be adding it to my pull list.


Dr. FATE
Writer: Paul Levitz; Artist: Sonny Liew

I desperately want a Dr. Fate series to work, even though few have, at least to my liking. The thing is, I want to delve into magic and mysticism, but I don't want stupid-weird. I'm not familiar with Liew's work, but what really gives me pause here is Paul Levitz. As a die-hard Legion fan, I revere the guy, but, much as it pains me to admit, I really haven't liked anything he's done since stepping out from DC's back office. His Worlds' Finest took forever to tell a story, in part because his scripts ran less than 1,000 words. I eventually dropped the title because it just wasn't worth spending $2.99 on a book that could bread in about six minutes. So, I'll have to take a good, hard look at this title before I commit.


HARLEY QUINN/POWER GIRL
Six-issue limited series
Writers: Jimmy Palmiotti & Amanda Conner; Artist: Stephane Roux

Golly, Harley has been popular of late. I missed the boat on her new series, in part because I was not a fan of the character's New 52 look. This might be a chance to jump in for a taste of what the regular series is like. I did enjoy Connor's brief run on Power Girl, so there's that added to the mix. Of course, we don't know yet if this is Faux Earth-2 Power Girl, or the new, New 52 Power Girl. This is one on which the jury is still out.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA
Writer/Artist: Bryan Hitch

Oh, yes. Hell, yes! A thousand times yes. Hitch has proven to me with Real Heroes that he can write, as well as draw some of the best comics in the history of the industry. I was all-in on this even when I expected months or more to pass between issues. But hearing that Hitch has been working on this for some time, and that we may get a solid string of monthly releases, has me excited beyond belief! 

It is interesting to note, however, that the image released is titled JLA15_PR,jpg. Why 15? I wonder if Hitch had been brought on for the regular JLA series, but fell far enough behind on deadline that his issues were pulled from the schedule until now? Justice League #15 did feature the start of the "Throne of Atlantis" storyline after a two-part Cheetah tale, so it's possible something else was planned initially.

Although billed as a continuing series, this will probably end up being a mini.


JUSTICE LEAGUE 3001
Writer: Keith Giffen; Artist: Howard Porter

Well, this isn't really a new book, is it? Unless, of course, the idea is to stay the course with turning this title into what amounts to Justice League International 3000. I'm not really down with that, to tell you the truth. I actually enjoyed the interplay of the cloned Justice Leaguers, and wanted more along those lines. Also of note: J. M. DeMatteis' name is not listed as a co-writer. Is he off the book? That might change things up. Giffen is a great idea man, but has not always been the greatest scripter, in my opinion. Without a strong editor or co-writer to temper his Beautiful Mind, he tends to run wild. 


MARTIAN MANHUNTER
Writer: Rob Williams; Artist: Ben Oliver

Here's another title I want to work, but expect to fail. Again, the first few issues are probably going to be all about setting up a supporting cast and a new base of operations. More likely than not we'll also get yet another rewrite on J'Onns' backstory, probably in the form of one of those, "Everything you know is a lie!" taglines.

For me, this book is real simple. What I want out of Martian Manhunter is a sort of comics noir. A police procedural would be just fine with me. I also want to see J'Onn SERIOUSLY depowered. If it were me, I'd say his powers are based on mass control, much like the vision. That would allow him to still range from super-strength to near-intangibility, but would lose all the other 99 powers he has. I'd also reduce others. Maybe adjust from full-on shapeshifting to an ability to slightly alter his (still humanoid) appearance and coloring, which could still lead to a form of invisibility by way of chameleon-like disguise. And pull back the telepathy for complete mental control to some form of empathic ability. Hey, he's a good detective because he can alway tell when someone is lying. And I'd sh!t-can the whole weakness to fire thing, changing it to a vulnerability to extreme heat, given the frigidity of his native world. For that reason, I'd also set his adventures in a northern clime. Maybe Ontario or Toronto, depending on what happens with the JLU. 

Basically, what I'm looking for here is Fargo with super-powers, by way of The Day the Earth Stood Still. What we'll probably get, however, is Plan 9 from Melrose Place.


MIDNIGHTER
Writer: Steve Orlando; Artist: ACO

Nope. Not even. I have no interest in psychopaths. Zip. Zero. Nada. Not even a little. Pass.


MYSTIC U
Writer: Alisa Kwitney; Artist: TBA

Not sure what this is supposed to be. Gotham Academy by way of Harry Potter, maybe? It could certainly use a more compelling title. Unless it stars Zatanna's fishnet stockings, and depending on who the artist ends up being (not a good sign to have no artist this late in the game, in my humble opinion), I expect to pass.


OMEGA MEN
Writer: Tom King; Artist: Barnaby Bagenda

Well, here's another title that's been tried 1,000 times and never quite lived up to expectations. What to do with this series? What to do, what to do? If this is the same thing it's always been, I'm liable to pass. What might be interesting is to change the concept from rebels fighting for independent will in an evil empire of collectivist thought to a comedic prisoner-of-war adventure motif. Let's call it Hogan's Heroes in space, with all the sensibilities of Firefly. I'd read that. Didio has said, however, that this title will be "dark and biting." So, it's probably not for me.


PREZ
Writer: Mark Russell; Artist: Ben Caldwell

I changed my mind about what I said concerning Bizarro, above. THIS is the new, New 52 series I'm most looking forward to. Just based on the teaser image, this looks like a fun take on a dystopian future. I don't mind the gender switch on Prez, although I do wonder why all of DC's best new books have female leads. It's like DC is afraid to let a male hero range anywhere between melancholy and buffoonery. Of course, there's always the danger of a title getting a little too lost in its high concept. This could easily become another Thriller.


RED HOOD/ARSENAL
Writer: Scott Lobdell; Artist: Denis Medri

No. I hate Jason Todd with a passion, and have ever since his character was changed to that of a punk hood in the immediate aftermath of the original Crisis. Roy Harper in space has never made much sense to me either. I have zero interest in this book.


ROBIN, SON OF BATMAN
Writer/Artist: Patrick Gleason

And, hey, speaking of little asswipes, Damian could've stayed dead, for all I care. I voted to kill Jason back in the day and I'd vote to kill Damian every time the opportunity presented itself. I do like Pat Gleason's art, however. I would buy something else by him. A little Kamandi, perhaps. Or, going the other way, Anthro.


SECTION EIGHT
Six-issue limited series
Writer: Garth Ennis; Artist: John McCrea

This is apparently based on something I don't know anything about. Didio has said it will be "exactly what people think it is." But I haven't foggiest idea what Section Eight is, or was, or whatever. All the signals say this is a book which I'll need to enter pre-loaded with some knowledge of the characters. Since I don't have that, I'll pass.


STARFIRE
Writers: Jimmy Palmiotti & Amanda Conner; Artist: Emanuela Lupacchino

Apparently, Starfire is back on Earth. And dressed. So, hooray. Honestly, I think the character looks a hell of a lot sexier in the Amanda Conner teaser image for the new seres than she ever did paling around with Roy and Jason as Little Miss Space Slut. I have high hopes given the writing team, but a commitment will come only after I've seen what Lupacchino's sequential art looks like.


WE ARE ROBIN
Writer: Lee Bermejo; Artist: Khary Randolph

Now, this one looks interesting. It's the weirdest concept among the new releases to be sure, but that's part of the appeal. Of course, this could go either way. It appears to be a youth movement, that's partly an attempt to crowdsource the Robin role (he's had a Legion of Robins already, after all, so youngsters can be forgiven for thinking the job is open to all comers), crossed with the only way untrained, over-exuberant kids could hope to defeat a villain, by basically flashmobbing him. A lot will depend on the scripting and how well the core group of Robin wannabees are written. This could be something great, but it could also be another version of The Movement, which I dropped after two issues. I'll probably give it a try, but a lot will depend on what else comes out in June, and what my budget looks like.



And, the returning titles


ACTION COMICS
Writer: Greg Pak; Artist: Aaron Kuder

I haven't read a lot of Pak's work, but dropped Batman/Superman because it was taking him too long to tell a simple story, which cost me too much per issue for the amount of time each took to read. Pass.

AQUAMAN

Writer: Cullen Bunn; Artist: Trevor McCarthy

I was enjoying the Jeff Parker/Paul Pelletier stories quite a bit. I don't know Bunn, but I do know I really disliked McCarthy's work on Klarion. I've been with this title since the Geoff Johns relaunch, but I'll be dropping it here.

BATGIRL
Writers: Cameron Stewart & Brenden Fletcher; Artist: Babs Tarr

Currently buying, stays on the pull list.

BATMAN
Writer: Scott Snyder; Artist: Greg Capullo

Meh. I dropped this title when it first went to $3.99, then came back for the "Death of the Family" arc, which seemed interesting, but kind of sputtered out, I thought. I left the title again during "Year Zero," given that it was taking forever and presented what seemed more an Elseworlds version of Batman's origin than the definitive telling. Like the incredibly stupid final movie in Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, I just didn't buy Gotham being completely shut down and cordoned off as a no-man's zone. I didn't like every character ever suddenly becoming a part of Batman's origin, although it also made no sense for noone to have done anything about the city being shut off. But worst of all, making the Red Hood a criminal mastermind and arch nemesis from Day 1 was, I felt, a betrayal of the character. The idea was always that he was a two-bit nobody until he fell in a vat of chemicals and became the Joker. So, anyway, this title is the most popular thing DC is publishing right now. For that Snyder and Capullo are to be congratulated. It's just not for me.

DETECTIVE COMICS
Writers; Brian Buccelato & Francis Manapul; Artist: Francis Manapul

Nope. Not at $3.99.

BATMAN/SUPERMAN
Writer: Greg Pak; Artist: Ardian Syaf

What I said about Pak, above. $3.99 is too much for what this title delivers.

CATWOMAN
Writer: Genevieve Valentine; Artist: David Messina

Not a fan of the New 52 Catwoman. Although, to be fair, the Ed Brubaker/Darwyn Cooke run is the only version that's ever interested me for long. There's such a thing as too much of a good thing, and Catwoman has always seemed better suited to recurring villain status than title character.

DEATHSTROKE
Writer/Artist: Tony S. Daniel

Nope. A gritty character for a grimmer time. Not for me.

THE FLASH
Writers: Robert Venditti & Van Jensen; Artist: Brett Booth

Yeah, probably not. I actually dropped this title not too long ago, albeit from a different creative team. To my mind, what DC needs to do is snap is fingers — remember a little thing called "hypertime?" — and declare that the CW TV show continuity is now the comic book continuity. I love almost everything about the Flash TV show. Those are the characters I want to read about. Best of all, black Wally would finally make sense, although if he continues to be a little punk I'll still hate him.

GOTHAM ACADEMY
Writers: Becky Cloonan & Brenden Fletcher; Artist: Karl Kerschl

Not quite living up to its initial promise, but I'm sticking with it.

GOTHAM BY MIDNIGHT
Writer: Ray Fawkes; Artist: Juan Ferreyra

Isn't this the one set at Arkham? I dunno. And isn't Fawkes another Geoff Johns protege? I dunno, but he hasn't exactly set the world on fire for me. So, whatever this is, no.

GRAYSON
Writers: Tom King & Tim Seeley; Artist: Mikel Janin

A lot of people seem to like this series. I read the first two issues and thought it was a complete friggin' mess. So, that's a big no for me.

GREEN ARROW
Writer: Ben Percy; Artist: Zircher

I'm really following this, having dropped it last month. While DC had the TV show writers on the book, it should have just adopted the TV continuity. Still could. Still should. But would that draw me back to the title? The recent issues were just, meh. I did like it under Jeff Lemire, although in retrospect I think what I really liked about that run was Andrea Sorrentino's artwork. I really don't know what to think of this title. I half think it might be time to give Oliver Queen another time-out. Maybe DC could move this series to a parallel Earth where Green Arrow is a Native American, Oliver Crazy-Bear, or some such, and a militant environmentalist, making him a true "green" arrow. I'd give that a try. 

GREEN LANTERN
Writer: Robert Venditti; Artist: Billy Tan

I won't buy this title, just because, even with the recent cancelations, it feels like one has to keep up with five different series to have any idea what's going on here. It's just WAY too event driven. And Hal Jordan also needs a time out. His basic problem is that, right from the beginning, his civilian i.d. as a hotshot test pilot was outmoded, the era of The Right Stuff already past. Warner ventures into film and TV notwithstanding, I feel about GL the same as I do about Flash, Green Arrow, Aquaman, The Atom, and especially Hawkman. It's time to reboot the characters. And I don't mean just pass the torch, as was done in the '90s. No, I mean a total Schwartz-tastic do-over. Keep the concept — person with magic ring — but otherwise start from scratch, and try like hell to capture the current zeitgeist. 

I'm not really sure how to do that with Green Lantern though. He could be a she, for certain. And maybe something mixing in the original magic lantern concept with something that's like, but not quite the Tanget Universe version. And it could be a science-so-advanced-it-seems-like-magic thing, with an interstellar peace force that doesn't fly though space, but travels via stargates, from which Earth has been cut off since the days of ancient Egypt, until the lantern is rediscovered for what it is? So, what's our space-noir high concept then? Call it Stargate: Chinatown?

I dunno. I'm just throwing stuff at the wall, I guess. All I know is that I've been over Hal Jordan since Emerald Dawn.

HARLEY QUINN
Writers: Jimmy Palmiotti & Amanda Conner; Artist: Chad Hardin

This is one I just might try, based on rave reviews, given a decent enough jumping-on point.

JUSTICE LEAGUE
Writer: Geoff Johns; Artist: Jason Fabok

One I've stuck with. No reason to stop now. Wish it cost less, though.

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNITED
Writer and Artist: TBA

No creative team this close to release? Scary. My call would be to cancel it and try something new. Or, one interesting concept might be a team united from the various worlds and/or heroes that survive the coming Convergence. The title would make a little more sense that way, at least. What would the ideal line-up be, however? I dunno. Just taking an initial stab at it, maybe, as stand-ins for the classic team:

Superman = Kon-El Superman and/or Matrix Superwoman
Batman = Stephanie Brown Batwoman
Wonder Woman = Donna Troy
Flash = Wally West (maybe with kids?)
Green Lantern = Kyle Rayner
Aquaman = Kaldur'ham
Martian Manhunter = Miss Martian
Green Arrow = Connor Hawke
Atom = Ryan Choi
Hawkman = Ryan Kendall Black Condor
Black Canary = Renee Montoya Question
Phantom Stranger = Bloodwynd
Elongated Man = Ralph and Sue, not dead
Red Tornado = Cyclone
Hawkgirl = Hawkworld version
Zatanna = maybe White Witch as a survivor from Legion world?
Firestorm = Jason Rusch version

Some additional wildcards might be: Someone from the Detroit JLA, Mary Marvel, a Freedom Fighter, Ted Kord Blue Beetle, Amazing Man, and/or maybe someone from the Super Friends team like Apache Chief? And maybe Snapper Carr, the Wonder Twins, and/or Wendy, Marvin and Wonder Dog as mascots?

LOBO
Writer: Cullen Bunn; Artist: Cliff Richards

No. I hate Lobo. I have always hated Lobo. I will always hate Lobo. Lobo must die.

SECRET SIX
Writer: Gail Simone; Artist: Dale Eaglesham

I've never read any version of this title. Well, other than the classic Silver Age run, that is. I don't even know what the concept is supposed to be. If 'twere me, I'd make this a chick book, with the six being Batgirl, Supergirl, Wonder Girl, Stargirl, Hawkgirl, and, um . . . Zatannagirl. Yay, girl power!!

SINESTRO
Writer: Cullen Bunn; Artist: Bradley Walker

Haven't tried this one. To me, Sinestro is more interesting as a villain, or even as an anti-hero, for how he defines the Green Lantern Corps, than as a lead character in his own right. I'm kind of meh, here. 

NEW SUICIDE SQUAD
Writer: Sean Ryan; Artist: Carlos D’Anda

Just no appeal to me. Never has been. Not even in the classic Ostrander era. Dunno why.

SUPERMAN
Writer: Gene Luen Yang; Artist: John Romita, Jr.

I've no idea what to expect of the writer. I may stick with this for an issue or two longer. I do want to read a book by Romita Jr., he's just proven to me that book is not Superman.

SUPERMAN/WONDER WOMAN
Writer: Peter J. Tomasi; Artist: Doug Mahnke

Yawn. I'd rather have DC Comics Presents back. 

TEEN TITANS
Writer: Will Pfeifer; Artist: Kenneth Rocafort

From everything I've heard, this book has been an absolute disaster from Day 1. I really have no interest, even though the Titans were one of my fav. books in both their '70s and '80s incarnations.

WONDER WOMAN
Writer: Meredith Finch; Artist: David Finch

I really don't know what to say here. I've just never been that into Wonder Woman, apart from the George Perez years. I do like David Finch's art well enough, but reviews of his debut on the book with his wife called the issue "uneven and underwhelming." I'm probably a pass, unless I can't find enough good books to fill my budget when placing my pre-order in April.


So, as things stand right now, my DC pre-order in April, for comics on-sale in June, will be, for certain, just eight books:

Batgirl
Bat-Mite
Bizarro
Gotham Academy
Justice League
Justice League of America
Prez
Superman

Then, there are these eight titles on the provisional list, depending on what else is solicited that month. My monthly budget is $120, which includes a 20 percent discount off retail, plus 5.5 percent sales tax, so some of these won't make the cut:

Cyborg
Dr. Fate
Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn/Power Girl
Justice League 3001
Martian Manhunter
Starfire
We Are Robin.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Your mileage, as the saying goes, may vary.
{[['']]}

CAPSULE COMMENTS: For comics on-sale Feb. 11, 2015




It was kind of a rough week at my local comics shop as two of the books I pre-ordered failed to arrive in the shipment from Diamond. My retailer has placed a re-order for Five Ghosts #15 and Smallville Season 11: Continuity #3, although in the case of the latter I may skip it as it appears the Legion of Super-Heroes only appeared in the first installment of this four-issue limited series. Here's what did wind up in my pull file:


ALL-NEW X-MEN #36
Marvel Comics, $3.99
[MILDLY RECOMMENDED]

My complaint about this title is almost exactly the same as my problem with Superman, of late. Namely, the book has taken forever to tell about two issue's worth of plot.

The original, all-new X-Men  first ran across Carmen Cruise, the girl who can bridge the gap between dimensions, in Issue #31. That was six issues and five months ago. They meet up with her again this issue in a sort of offhand way after spending the intervening issues working themselves out of various dire circumstances into which Carmen had transported them. And there's the rub. Those chapters — Iceman fighting the Mole Man, Angle in the Savage Land, Beast captured by Dr. Doom, and Jean Gray getting her flirt on with Ultimate Spider-Man — took up four issues, when they only really needed one, at most. Hell, back in the day, Stan Lee would've had our mutant pals in and out of their respective jams in just a few pages, then back to the main business at hand. Unfortunately, what should have been a few interesting side bits got treated like they were the actual plot, and a glacial one at that. The way each hero's plight was decompressed, it not only took four issues for the team to get back together, but each issue pretty much covered the same ground. For four issues we saw Iceman try to escape the Mole Man, and then the local authorities. For four issues we saw Beast ruminate over how he might escape Dr. Doom. For four issues we saw Miles Morales act all nervous and geeky around Jean Gray. Only the Angel and X-23 chapters moved along in any meaningful degree, but that's only because the plot required somebody figure out where they were and pull the team back together from their disparate locations.

When the team finally does regroup, having joined forces with their Ultimate Universe dopplegangers — and I have to say the whole, "Your like us only different" stuff fell flat, since it's previously been played to death in this book with the All-News meeting multiple present and future versions of themselves — the story wraps up pretty quickly with a, "Hey, you're a mutant. We can help with that."

But, really, Carmen should have been the main story all along. This should have been a coming of age allegory with Carmen getting a grip with her  new state reality (in both a literal and figurative sense), paralleled with the X-Men finally learning to accept their new status quo. At the very least, we should have got more of Carmen in each issue, not just in the first and last few pages of the story, spaced five months apart. It would have been interesting, too, if the X-Men had escaped their first jump only get dispatched by Carmen a second, and maybe third time, to different universes each time. As it is, it's not until this issue that we get to see worlds that differ appreciably from the 616. Although, that said, I guess I don't know enough about the Ultimate universe to know why its Dr. Doom has grasshopper legs. So, I guess it's different enough.

I actually dropped this book from my pull list when Stuart Immonen left, as I was already long past the glacial pacing of the story. Still, even though each issue only covers about 10 minutes in story time, and even though each one takes about half that time to read, the dialogue and character bits have kept me coming back, checking the book on the stands and tossing it in my buy pile. However, I'm pretty sure this was my last issue. While not Immonen, the art by Mahmud Asrar is good, even compelling in places. However, there are a few problems with layouts not being as clear as they could be and with Jean Gray occasionally looking like she's about 10 years old. There's also one panel where she's supposed to be biting her lip, disgusted by what she saw in Tony Stark's mind, but, frankly, she really looks like she's drooling.

But, good dialogue and a few nicely drawn panels is not enough to keep me coming back any longer. At the end of the day, no one issue is worth the $4 entry fee and the $24 I've spent on the last six issues is more than the trade paperback collection will cost. 

(Read Time: 7:15)
STORY GRADE: B- 
ISSUE SCORE: 66.75
[Cover: 6:50 | Plot: 7.50 | Script: 9.0 | Layout: 7.25 | Artwork: 8.0 | Editing: 5.50 | Colors and Production Values: 6.50 | Dollar Value: 4.25 | Collectibility: 6.0 | The Gosh-Wow Factor: 6.25]



AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #14
Marvel Comics, $3.99
[ALTERNATELY RECOMMENDED]

I almost dropped this title when the Spider-Verse saga began, thinking, A) I'll never be able to keep up with the story with all of the ancillary tie-ins and cross-overs, and, B) What a stupid idea! But, as it turns out, bringing the cosmic concept of the DC Multiverse to the street level of our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man has been just pounds of fun. Honestly, I can't remember when I've enjoyed a Spidey book so much, and this title has been on a high already since its Superior run.

But, every story has to end and this one suffers from the same problem that hobbles so many comic book epics, such as the All-New X-Men arc critiqued above, and last week's concluding chapter of the Ulysses tale over in Superman. So many comic book sagas these days (and by these days, I mean for the past quarter century) begin strong with a cool springboard, then kind of slog though however many middle chapters are needed to fill out the eventual trade paperback, and then wrap everything up in a few panels at the end. And that's what happens here. For the past six issues, the big-bad Inheritors have been built up as an unbeatable force of nature. But with the death of Inheritor patriarch Solus last issue, the tables turn entirely. The Legion of Super-Spider-Men take the fight to the Inheritor homeworld and suddenly they're the ones on the kicker end of the asses. Then, one exiled member of the Inheritor family shows up and takes the Spider side. That comes a little out of nowhere, but in adherence to Chekov's rule, he had been placed on the mantle in Act I, although only by way of a passing reference, so I guess it's okay.

Ultimately, the end comes so fast that the Inheritor called Daemos — at least I think it's Daemos, he and a brother each call each other by that same name within the space of two pages — actually says, in what seems a bit of meta-textual commentary, "How can everything be unraveling so fast?" Of course, he says this while fighting Peter Porker the Spectacular Spider-Ham. It's things like that which have made this story so completely awesome!

Less awesome, however, and swept up in the fast unraveling, is the revelation of Earth-3,145. There's no comma given, but the way, so maybe "Earth-3145" designates a year, not a numeral? Anyway, this is the world where Ben Parker is Spider-Man, and we got quite a big build up on him over the past couple of issues, what with this revelation and his origin. You'd think that might've led to something, but in this concluding chapter, having agreed to take up the fight, he says barely a word and is relegated to squirreling away Spider-Girl's baby brother to previously unknown "safe" world. Meanwhile, even though Spider-Ben's Earth is toxic to the Inheritors, it only factors in as their jail. It's not used at all to defeat the previously undefeatable family. Nope, Spiders just be kickin' ass. Frankly, this would have been more believable, given how the Inheritors have been portrayed thus far, if we had been given some Spider-Fodder in the final battle. One or two soldiers (at least) in the Spider-Army should have fallen. In fact, it might have worked well if the Superior Spider-Man had sacrificed himself once again. That would have messed up the 616 timeline, of course, but the Marvel Multiverse is big enough for it to have been revealed that he was the Superior version from some other Earth, one from which, with his death, that world's Peter Parker is not only dead, but now really good and truly dead.

You've heard me say before that I'm a fan of Humberto Ramos' super-stylaized art, just not on Spider-Man, but I really missed him this issue. The art is credited to Guiseppe Camuncoli and Oliver Coipel, which would ordinarily lead me to believe Coipel was the inker, or secondary artist. I've never heard of Camuncoli. But the artwork looks to be pure Coipel and that means that, as with his work on the Legion of Super-Heroes and The Avengers, there's lots of panels full of characters running, leaping and jumping, but not always much to indicate where they're running, leaping and jumping from, or to.  With   so little given in the way of backgrounds and establishing shots, it gets to the point where writer Dan Slott has to have one of the Inheritors say of the Spider-Army, "Here they are now," because, his say so is really all we have to go on. Otherwise its like, there they are, for no apparent reason, so everyone commence to running, leaping and jumping. There's also a bit at the end where a character looks like our Spider-Man, but speaks with a very Superior voice. That might have been just me finally losing track of who's who after several issues of more Spider-Men then you can shake a stick at, but it did confuse me and take me out of the story somewhat, as I wasn't sure if Peter was suddenly acting tough, or if Coipel had drawn the wrong character.

(Read Time: 13:40, plus 5:55 for recap page/lettercol)
STORY GRADE: C+
ISSUE SCORE: 70.25
[Cover: 8:50 | Plot: 7.0 | Script: 8.25 | Layout: 4.50 | Artwork: 8.25 | Editing: 4.50 | Colors and Production Values: 9.0 | Dollar Value: 6.50 | Collectibility: 7.0 | The Gosh-Wow Factor: 6.75]



ASTRO CITY #20
DC Comics/Vertigo, $3.99
[ALWAYS RECOMMENDED]

I find I generally prefer the Astro City stories that last just an issue or two. That may be because shorter stories help feed the retro-vibe of this book. Tales that play to the same plot-centric storytelling sensibilities of my youth tend to do so to a greater degree when they play out at a similar length. Still, I have rather enjoyed this life story of Quarrel, begun in Issue #18.

I faulted the last issue for seeming to be a little more tell than show as Quarrel related her back story. Here, however, we get much more going on in the present. We also get to see, via the previously unrevealed romance with MPH, how the past impacts the now. That sort of interplay seemed to be missing somewhat, last time out. Here, it gives us a good feel for the difference between super-powered and street-level crimefighters, as Quarrel ends her relationship with MPH, in part because she feels he'll never really understand her need to train so incessantly. Of course, she's also kind of a bitch, as writer Kurt Busiek makes clear. And so is Crackerjack. But Busiek does a real nice job of taking two characters with many less-than-admirable qualities and still making each eminently likable.

Overall, however, Busiek is telling what may be the best treatise ever on the aging super-hero, and does a fantastic job of playing both ends by showing how Quarrel and Crackerjack each approach the imminent end to their crime-fighting careers. Frankly, this is everything Neil Gaiman's failed "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" should have been. And, yes, I said "failed." I know it won a lot of awards. I thought it was crap. It should have something WAY more like this.

Brent Anderson's artwork also is better this time out. He's a superb storyteller, but his art has looked way rushed lately. I've long advocated for an inker to be brought on board, maybe Jerry Ordway, but that's probably a futile request. Still, while things are better overall this outing, there are a few panels were the inking looks slapdash, or the poses non-anatomical. There's also a page where Anderson seems to have forgotten the tale has returned to the present from a flashback, as he leaves Quarrel in her early handkerchief mask, instead of the headgear in which she started the opening fight with the Khyborgs.

(Read Time: 15.10, plus 3:00 for letter col/promo pages)
STORY GRADE: A
ISSUE SCORE: 76.25
[Cover: 7.0 | Plot: 9.0 | Script: 9.25 | Layout: 8.75 | Artwork: 7.75 | Editing: 6.50 | Colors and Production Values: 6.75 | Dollar Value: 6.0 | Collectibility: 6.75 | The Gosh-Wow Factor: 8.50]




JUSTICE LEAGUE 3000 #14
DC Comics, $2.99
[HARDLY RECOMMENDED]

Oh. My. Gawd. The art on this was so awfully, terribly bad. And Andy Kuhn is not a bad artist at all. I've rather enjoyed his work on other things. But this issue looks like it was done over a weekend. Or, more correctly, it looks like Kuhn simply turned in the thumbnail sketches he did to work out his page layouts.

And, to be fair, a few pages in, once one gets over the shocking difference from the Howard Porter art that normally graces this title, it begins to dawn that the storytelling is actually okay. The images, such as they are, generally flow together well. The layouts are decent. It just doesn't look like finished art at all. It looks like so-much Sharpie sketches. And, while I hate to beat up on Kuhn — he's been a professional artists for a lot of years, after all, and I'm just a simple caveman fanboy — I would not be true to my fanboy soul if I did not say that he has managed to give us what may be the least impressive double-page spread in all of comics.

Of course, those two pages, in which Ice looks out over a post-apocalyptic wasteland, are not at all necessary. But then, neither is the telling of Ice's history from present day to the 31st century. We had a nice set-up going with the All-New Justice League set to face off against a group of cloned villains, led by :::gasp!::: Lois Lane, when things stopped dead from the shoehorning of Booster Gold and Blue Beetle into the series. Adding in Ice is all fine and well, but taking up this full issue for her backstory really stops the real plot dead in its tracks. Her history could have been truncated to a couple of pages, or, better yet, a couple of panels. But editor Harvey Richards seems to have been asleep at the wheel anyway. How else to explain him completely forgetting that Ice was present at the death of the original Justice League. "I watched him die," she said of Superman, last issue. But here, she's shown to have completely missed the Justice League's demise during her self-impossed cryogenic slumber.

Richards also allowed Lancelot to be referred to as Galahad in Issue #10. It's unclear to me if the residents of Camelot 9 are supposed to be the actual characters from the old 1980s series Camelot 3000, or if that's just an homage. Either way, the error was fixed in Issue #11.

So, anyway, I may be dropping this series soon. What I initially enjoyed was the interplay of the All-New League, with their heroic personas buried deep down, but sporting new personalities on the surface. Sales have languished, so it seems not everyone likes this book as much as I have. But with the title quickly turning into Super Buddies 3000, and thus moving further and further away from what it was, it is, to me, losing its appeal. The Blue & Gold bwa-ha-ha thing has been done to death. It was these new characters I was enjoying.

(Read Time: 15:30, plus 2:00 for promo pages)
STORY GRADE: C
ISSUE SCORE: 63.00
[Cover: 7:0 | Plot: 6.25 | Script: 7.75 | Layout: 7.25 | Artwork: 5.50 | Editing: 4.25 | Colors and Production Values: 7.0 | Dollar Value: 6.25 | Collectibility: 5.50 | The Gosh-Wow Factor: 6.25]




JUSTICE LEAGUE UNITED #9
DC Comics. $3.99
[RECOMMENDED ONLY FOR LEGION COMPLETISTS]

Well, this issue is certainly better than the last. Of course, "Ricky and Debbie in Sardineland" was a better comic book than JLU #8!

This issue only feeds my suspicion that the last chapter was a rush-job to infill what was originally billed as a five-part event, in order to stretch things out until DC's big "Convergence"event. Not a lot happens this time out and this six-cum-five part story really could have been completed in two, to be honest. Hell, back in the day we got the LSH, the JLA and the JSA through a complete and satisfying story in just two issues. Here, the combined might of Justice League United and the Legion of Super-Heroes is needed to take down Byth, while the Martian Manhunter frees both Hawkman and Utraa the Multi Alien from Byth's mental control. Frankly, this book really ought to be titled J'Onn & Co., or at least J'Onzz and Bitchy Supergirl Team-Up.

As to the Legion, well, all of the postboot characters who showed up last issue disappear this time out, as does Shadow Lass, who was supposed to be recovering from injuries on Mars anyway. Artist Neil Edwards also manages not to give us any Legionnaires twice in one panel in different costumes, so that's to the good, although Element Lad is still dressed in a recolored Alchemist suit, while Matter-Eater Lad is decked out in his SW6 togs. Speaking of Element Lad, either he or Sun Boy is missing form the Roll Call, it's hard to tell which, while Quislet, who has yet to make an appearance in this story, is there once again.

I do like Edwards' art however, even if his panel layouts don't always do much to help the story. His drawings are nice. I especially like his Bouncing Boy, which, perhaps aided by the pairing of Jay Leisten and Keith Champagne on inks, reminds me a great deal of the Legion's much-missed James Sherman/Mike Nasser era.

This issue ends with Brainy opening a black hole on the team, having refused to wait for J'Onn to do his thing, prematurely dispatching a dues ex mabomb. This whole saga has revolved around the Legion coming back in time to kill Ultraa in order to prevent him from becoming Infinitus. How exactly that transformation happens has not been fully explained, nor do we get so much as a wink and a nod to explain why Infinitus looks exactly like The Infinite Man, a Bronze Age Legion villain who was a completely different character. Still, the whole Legion of Super-Assassins angle has the team behaving in a decidedly un-Legionlike way, which makes me wonder if Jeff Lemire really understands who he's writing about.

No matter, I dropped this title after Issue #2 and only picked it up again for the Legion. I'll drop it again next issue, which may be its last anyway. I haven't heard if this title is returning after Convergence, but I'd tend to doubt it.

(Read Time: 15:35, plus 0:30 for promo pages)
STORY GRADE: C+
ISSUE SCORE: 61.75
[Cover: 6.25 | Plot: 6.0 | Script: 6.75 | Layout: 6.75 | Artwork: 8.50 | Editing: 4.50 | Colors and Production Values: 8.0 | Dollar Value: 4.50 | Collectibility: 5.75 | The Gosh-Wow Factor: 4.75]



KLARION #5
DC Comics, $2.99
[HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED]

Oh, man. This is just a really bad book. I bought on thinking, or at least hoping, it would be the male equivalent of what Batgirl and Gotham Academy promised to be. But instead of a cool new, retro-heroic character, what we get is something much more akin to the grim 'n' gritty '90s zeitgeist. I've always liked the idea of Klarion, and have wanted a book starring him to succeed. But this is a poorly-edited splooge of way too many ideas poorly conveyed, thanks in part to panels that run helter-skelter across the page with little regard for actually telling a story. It's all kewl ideas mixed with cool drawings that totally turns me off. I'd like to give you a little of the plot, but it's mostly lost on me, especially given zero attempt to catch the reader up on what has come before. I'm serious, I was totally friggin' lost from one end of this issue to the other.

Frankly, I ordinarily would have dropped this book after the first or second issue, but due to some financial difficulties last fall, the first four piled up in my pull pile before I could get to them. By that time, it was announced this title would end, deservedly so, with Issue #6. I figured, what the hell, I'll complete the set. But it's hard brother, Lord it's hard.

Ann Nocenti was a writer I liked once upon a time. And, in recent interviews with her, it's clear she is putting a lot of thought into her stories, in an attempt to create a fully-realized world. But little of what's in her head seems to be translating to the page, at least for me. It's like she's trying to throw an entire Wizarding World of Harry Potter at us, forgetting in the attempt that J. K. Rowling succeeded by starting with the simple story of lonely orphan, or that Lord of the Rings started with a simple hobbit going for a long walk. You have to introduce the elements and expand the world as you go, starting from readily relatable characters. You can't just barf out the whole universe at once and expect readers to keep up, or care.

Because of my good will for Nocenti from her Longshot and Daredeveil days, as well as her editing stint on New Mutants, I want to like her work. But her more recent runs on Green Arrow, Legion Lost, and the particularly dreadful Katana, have left me cold. At this point, she's kind of poison to me and I'm more likely to skip rather than buy a comic with her name on the cover, sad to say.

(Read Time: 11:15, plus 2:00 for promo pages)
STORY GRADE: D
ISSUE SCORE: 43.25
[Cover: 7:25 | Plot: 4.50 | Script: 5.25 | Layout: 3.25 | Artwork: 6.50 | Editing: 2.50 | Colors and Production Values: 6.0 | Dollar Value: 5.50 | Collectibility: 1.0 | The Gosh-Wow Factor: 1.50]




THOR #5
Marvel Comics, $3.99
[THUNDEROUSLY RECOMMENDED]

Thor's a chick. Chick's rule. And that's pretty much all you need to know about this issue.

I'm a little disappointed that Titania refers to Thor as She-Thor and Lady Thunderstrike, and not Thunderella, which I've been stumping for and trying to turn into a meme online. Still, that aside, I'm all for female Thor, in part because Jason Aaron's script is so clever and fun. But even so, this issue does take a healthy mjolnir-type swipe to the head with the feminist stuff. It's like, okay, great, equal rights, fine. Yeah, it's totally unfair that Thunderella only gets to kill 77 frost giants for every 100 allowed to Thor. We. Get. It.

This issue does a good job of obeying Stan Lee's No. 1 rule for comic book scripting. That is, that someone must slug someone else by Page 3. But after the smackdown of Crusher Creel and sister-surrender from Titania, the rest of the book is pretty much talking, or, in the case of the hero-formerlly-known-as-Thor, slurring. Still, it's all fun. I'm just anxious for Thunderella to go out an be Thor and stop with all the woe-is-me, nobody-will-accept-a-thunder-god-with-boobs stuff. Of course, some, if not most, of that may come from whomever Thunderella is under the helmet, and I wish Arron was giving us more clues and/or red herrings in that regard. It does seem that there is a real Thor/Donald Blake thing going on, with her speaking in the Asgardian way, but thinking like an everyday denizen of lowly Midgard.

As an aside, I have to wonder how much I missed in my decades away from the House of Ideas? I had no idea Titania and the Absorbing Man were married. Moreover, I seem to recall from my days reading Marvel Two-In-One off the spinner rack that Titania was one of the good guys. Am I thinking of a different character? And another aside — this issue is the second time recently in which someone has referred to the "ten realms." My memory says the Norse mythology of Thor's universe is built on nine realms. I'm not certain if I'm spotting an editorial error, if something changed and I missed it, or if maybe this new 10th Realm is the clue to Thunderella's identity I was looking for. Well, at any rate, I'm still expecting her to be Jane Foster.

As to the art, it was generally okay. The colors were a bit dark throughout for my taste, and not every panel transition was what I might have hoped for. Still, I can't fault things much beyond the nitpick level. My only real complaint is that Thunderella hits like a girl. I can just imagine Stan Lee looking at the panel where she supposedly breaks Creel's jaw and saying, "No, no, no. She has to be shown really following through on the punch, or else winding way back for the swing." As it is, what she delivers looks like a love tap, and a real good way of breaking her wrist.


(Read Time: 15:40, plus 0:35 for recap page)
STORY GRADE: B+
ISSUE SCORE: 70.50
[Cover: 7:0 | Plot: 7.25 | Script: 9.25 | Layout: 6.75 | Artwork: 7.50 | Editing: 6.50 | Colors and Production Values: 5.50 | Dollar Value: 5.75 | Collectibility: 7.25 | The Gosh-Wow Factor: 7.75]





STAT ATTACK!
TOTAL RETAIL COST: $25.93
MY COST (retail - 20% LCS discount + 5.5% ME sales tax): $21.88

COVER PRICE
High: $3.99 (all Marvel books, plus JLU)
Average: $3.70
Median: $3.99
Low: $2.99 (Klarion #5, JL3k #14)

PRODUCT PAGE COUNT
High: 36 (Amazing Spidey #14, albeit augmented by 8-page promotional foldout)
Average: 30.67
Median: 31.42 
Low: 28 (All-New X-Men #36, Thor #5)

STORY PAGE COUNT
High: 24 (Astro City #20)
Average: 20.86
Median: 20
Low: 20 (Everything else except JLU)

STORY COST (price/story page count)
Best: 14.95¢/page (Klarion #5, JL3k #14)
Average: 17.79¢/page
Median: 16.63¢/page
Worst: 19.95¢/page (all Marvel books)

STORY READ TIME
High: 15:40 (Thor #5)
Average: 13:45
Median: 15:10
Low: 7:15 (All-New X-Men #36)

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE (price/story read time)
Best: 19.29¢/minute (JL3k #14)
Average: 29.66¢/minute
Median: 26.30¢/minute
Worst: 55.03¢/minute (All-New X-Men #36)

PANEL AVERAGE (panels/story pages)
High: 4.42/page (Astro City #20)
Average: 4.17/page
Median: 4.15/page
Low: 3.0/page (Klarion #5)

WORD AVERAGE (words/story pages)
High: 
Average:
Median:
Low:

ADVERTISING PERCENTAGE (total pgs inc. covers/(ad pgs - house ad pgs))
High: 16.67% (Klarion #5, JL3k #14)
Average: 14.98%
Median: 15.63%
Low: 12.50% (Amazing Spidey #14)


STORY GRADE
High: A (Astro City #20)
Average: 2.50/C+ 
Median: C+
Low: D (Klarion #5)

ISSUE SCORE
High: 76.25 (Astro City #20)
Average: 64.54
Median: 66.75
Low: 43.25 (Klarion #5)

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